If, as you read, you begin to think that your family might benefit from making changes in one or more of these areas, do not worry! It is never too late to take action. See each step below for specific examples on how to bully-proof your child!
Finally, check out my 2012 blog article on helping kids know what to do if they are bullied or witness someone else being bullied. Click here to read more. Image from Flickr. Some rights reserved by Eddie~S. Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
Parents, this one is for you. We all make our lists at the beginning of the year of things to start, things to stop and things to improve upon. These goals are generally made in the spirit of self-improvement. I’m curious, how many of your resolutions involved your habits as a parent? What do you see as areas for improvement in your role as a parent? While you think about your own parenting resolutions, I have three suggestions for you to consider as you begin 2014 and seek to make it a great year for you and your family! I’ll start with the not-so-fun resolutions. Talk to your children about bullying, both in-person and online. This is a very real issue that can have a devastating impact on kids, both those being bullied and those who are the bullies. Check out the Stop Bullying website for more information. Talk to your teens about their experience at school. Ask about bullying. Find out who the bullies are and who is being targeted. If you find out that your child is being bullied or is doing the bullying, talk to them about their experience. It can be helpful to talk to the school or have your child see a counselor. However, it is most important to hear your child’s perception of what is happening to know how to best proceed. Talk to your teens about the risks of sexting. Let’s start out by defining what “sexting” means. According to Psychology Today, “sexting is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexual photos or sexually suggestive messages through text message or email.” Did you know that over 75% of teens who are propositioned to have sex via a text, actually end up having sexual intercourse? Did you know that a teen sending a sexually explicit picture of themselves to another person can be considered distribution of child pornography? Did you know that a child as young as 10 years old can be charged with a sexual offense in Colorado? If you didn’t know, it is likely that your teens do not know either. It is time to include a discussion about technology in the “birds and the bees” talk. Here is a great article to get you started. Now that those are out of the way, I’ll end with a more “fun” resolution! Help your kids get involved in an extracurricular activity. Many teens naturally find their way to fun and appropriate extracurricular activities. Others may have a more difficult time getting involved. Here are a few benefits of teens being involved in social activities: healthy friendships, improved self-esteem and good role models to name a few. They are good for parents, too! Not only can you feel good about your teen getting all of the above-named benefits, you might just get a little time to yourself, too! Here is a great article on helping your kids get involved. All of this being said, these conversations will be easier and more meaningful for both parents and teens who feel safe and comfortable talking to one another. I encourage you to foster an environment in your home where it is safe for your teen to talk to you about anything. Yes, anything! Thanks for reading today! Check back over the next few weeks as I blog about each of the above mentioned topics in more detail! Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
I have noticed a recent increase in conversations on social media regarding parents' choice to vaccinate their children and concerns that vaccinations can cause autism. Specifically, a 2011 NPR article titled Study Linking Childhood Vaccine And Autism Was Fraudulent has resurfaced, sparking fervent discussion about vaccinations. Dr. Andrew Wakefield, a British physician, and his colleagues published studies in 1998 and 2002 linking the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine to autism. The studies were published in The Lancet which is self-described as "the world's leading general medical journal and specialty journals in Oncology, Neurology and Infectious Diseases." The publication officially retracted the studies in 2010 after discovering that the studies were fraudulent. See this NPR article which links to the official retraction from The Lancet. Click here for an article from the American Academy of Pediatrics outlining the original Wakefield studies and the specific flaws of each. I am interested in hearing from my readers on this topic. Here are some specific questions to get the discussion started:
Please comment with your thoughts! *The author of this article is not a medical professional and is not authorized to provide medical advice. The purpose of this article is to encourage discussion on the decision-making process used by the public to determine whether or not to vaccinate children. No medical advice will be given in response to comments. Please contact your doctor with specific medical concerns about vaccines, autism and/or the health of your children. Bethany Jones Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
Now that January is almost halfway over, how many of you are still on track with your New Years resolutions? It is common for the excitement of the new year to wear off as your family returns to the routine of work and school. It is just as common for the motivation to meet resolutions to diminish.
Now is a good time to re-evaluate your resolutions. Why have you abandoned your well-meaning resolutions? As discussed in the last blog entry, maybe your goals were not realistic or perhaps you did not have a good plan and support system in place. Take some time to read through my resolutions blog and get a more realistic plan set. You can do this! If you need a little extra support, Bethany is here to help. Give her a call at 720-722-0527, email her or fill out the contact form to get started today! How to Survive the Holidays (and maybe have some fun, too!) The holidays represent a time to celebrate family, friends and, for many, faith. However, for some teens and families, the holidays are stressful due to busy schedules, strained relationships and difficult behaviors. Here are some tips to help manage this busy, often stressful time of year!
1) Take a break. You are not required to attend every holiday party or community activity to which you receive an invitation. Rest and quiet time at home will help you be more flexible in stressful situations. 2) Have an ally. Talk with your partner, a close friend or trusted family member about how you are doing and any concerns you may have regarding schedules, difficult relationships or troubling behaviors by your children. Using your support network will help you manage difficult situations more easily than trying to do it on your own. Provide support to your children and teens during this busy time of year. Be sure to carve out quiet time with them during the holiday season. 3) Stick with the household rules. Children and teens should continue to complete their responsibilities and get to bed at a decent time, even if they are out of school. Keeping a schedule will help keep order during a traditionally busy time of year. This will also help decrease difficulties in returning to a normal routine after the holidays. And, yes, it is alright to give consequences to children and teens for not meeting their expectations during the holidays! 4) Be generous and express gratitude. The old stat4ement "it's the thought that counts" is really true! It is not necessary to go into debt to satisfy your child or teen's holiday wish list. Teach your children about generosity by volunteer or buying gifts for underprivileged children. This will help them be more appreciative of the gifts they do receive. Writing thank you notes with your children and teens will help foster feelings of gratitude. 5) Create or continue meaningful traditions. Bake cookies, go ice skating, decorate the family tree and watch holiday movies. These traditions are what children and teenagers will remember and treasure as they grow older. It is hard to believe that it is the end of September and most Denver-area schools have been in session for over a month. How is your child doing in school? What problems, if any, have you and your children come across? Has your child revealed they are being bullied at school? Or have you learned that your child is bullying his or her classmates? This entry is the first in a 2 part series about bullying.
18.8% of Colorado kids have been bullied at school according to the Colorado Healthy Kids Survey and the Colorado Legacy Foundation (CLF). CLF research shows that kids who are bullied experience a variety of symptoms including poor school attendance, low grades and low motivation to pursue higher education. More serious consequences can include drug use, depression, suicidal ideation and suicide attempts. Parents and their kids both play an important role in standing up to bullying. Experts at Children’s Hospital Colorado (CHC) suggest that parents offer support if their child discloses they are being bullied. This is important as many children are hesitant to reveal they are being bullied for fear of being blamed for the bullying. Stopbullying.gov recommends that parents avoid placing blame on their child and provide a safe environment for the child to discuss what has been happening. Parents asking their children what they believe may be helpful to alleviate the bullying can also be beneficial. Parents may ask that school officials intervene. School counselors and staff can help children create plans to deal with bullying. Schools can also help mediate between the child and the bully. Parents should also be aware that the Colorado State Legislature passed a Bullying Prevention Law in 2011. This allows legal action to be taken in cases of bullying. Stopbullying.gov also recommends some specific actions for a child who is being bullied:
Finally, a child that has been a victim of bullying may benefit from speaking to a mental health professional about their experience. Bethany is available to work with children and families dealing with bullying. Whether your child has been bullied, or is the bully, Bethany can help. You can contact Bethany by phone at 720-722-0527 or send her an email to get started. The shooting at the Aurora Mall movie theater is a truly tragic event. My heart aches for those impacted by this tragedy. I would like to offer a free initial session to any teens or families who were present at the theater during this event and feel that they would benefit from speaking with a professional about their experience. My office is located in Aurora. Please contact me at 720-722-0527 or send me an email to request your free session.
Ahh, summer. The season kids yearn for and the season parents often dread. Have you ever found yourself wondering "how can I keep my teen busy over the summer?" or "how do I make sure my teenager stays out of trouble?" Below are 5 suggestions to help your teen have a fun and safe summer vacation!
1) Allow time with friends Spending time with friends is likely at the top of your teen’s list of favorite things to do. Allowing your child to spend time with friends is important. Also important is getting to know your teen’s friends and their parents. Have your child invite their friends over to the house. Drive or accompany the teens to an event. Both are ways for parents to get to know their child’s friends. Finally, enforcing rules around acceptable activities and curfew will help your teen spend safe and enjoyable time with their friends. 2) Stick to a schedule Most people love sleeping in, and no one loves it more than the teens in your life! There is something wondrous about crawling into bed, not setting the alarm, and waking up when your body is ready. However, imagine how difficult going back to school in the fall will be if your teen spends the summer staying up late and not rising until mid-to late morning? The National Sleep Foundation states that the average teenager requires 9 ¼ hours of sleep to function at their best. While school performance is certainly a part of a teen’s healthy functioning, it is not the whole story. Getting enough rest is integral to your teen’s ability to maintain a healthy attitude (mood) and body. See the full NSF article here. Help your teenager feel their best by setting a summer schedule at home that allows time for work, time for fun and time to get enough sleep! You'll be thankful you did when the first day of school arrives! 3) Follow the rules Teenagers thrive when they have a structured schedule to follow. Why? Experiencing structure and rules at home are how children and teens learn to follow society’s laws and the rules/expectations they will be subject to in school, jobs, and so forth. Just because it is summer and your teen does not have to be up early for school does not mean they automatically get to stay out late, skip chores and do what they want. Parents should enforce the house rules, give consequences when necessary and reward good behavior. Consequences should be reasonable and enforceable. Rewards should also be practical and feasible for the family. Rewards do not need to be monetary but can include extra free time doing an activity of choice or a special activity with the family or friends. Additionally, genuinely praising your teenager is a very powerful reward that can help strengthen your relationship with them and develop positive self-esteem. Check out this article from WebMD for more information on praising children of any age! Here is another resource for praising older children and teens. 4) Keep their brain and body busy Many teens may not want to be involved in a structured summer activity. However, this does not mean they should simply spend their summer sleeping, eating and playing video games! There are many ways to keep your teen active both in the home and in the community. The website Parenting a Teenager suggests that parents encourage teens to find a summer job, volunteer and stay active. Teens can also help with projects assigned by parents, other family members or neighbors. Doing yard or housework can help teens stay active. It also helps keep their parents happy! Joining a sports league, recreation center or YMCA are other ways for teens to stay active and healthy! Reading, going to the library, visiting a museum or joining a club can help your teen keep their brain active while they are out of school. 5) Spend time with them Spending time with their family is not a preferred activity for most teenagers. They are at a time in their life where peer relationships and feeling independent are increasingly important. However, teens that spend time with their parents experience a number of benefits including improved academic success, stronger emotional bonds with family members, lower rates of violent behavior and drug use. See Familyfacts.org for more information! Spending time with your teen allows them to ask questions, seek advice and share information about what is going on in their world. It is also a time for parents to ask questions and assess the physical and emotional health of their teen. Finally, it is a great way to have fun and create lasting family memories! I wish your family the best over the upcoming summer vacation! If you have concerns about your teen, please call 720-722-0527 or submit a message here to discuss how Bethany may be able to help! |
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