Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

+ What are each of our most important values?
+ What do we stand for together?
+ What kind of family do we want to create?
+ What kind of environment do we want to foster in our home?
+ What standards do we want to follow?
+ How do you want people to describe us?
+ What do we want to be remembered for as a family?
+ How do we want to give back to our community?
+ How will we work together to make our world a better place?

Inspired by and adapted from "UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World" by Michele Borba, Ed.D. (Buy the book here.)

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

During the holiday season, spend some one-on-one time with your teen. Reflect on their experiences in 2016. Here are a few questions to get you started:

• What was your proudest moment in 2016?
• What relationships made an impact on your life in 2016?
• What challenges did you overcome in 2016?
• What did you learn about your personal values in 2016?
• Make a list your most important values.
  

Next, help your teen go beyond setting unrealistic or unreasonable New Year’s Resolutions.
Consider the lessons and values they identified from this year to set goals and intentions for 2017.

• What specific goals do you have for yourself in 2017?
• How can you use your personal values to help you meet these goals?
• What kind of relationships do you want to have in 2017?
• How can your personal values help you develop these relationships?
• Are any challenges from 2016 going to continue in 2017?
• How will keeping your values in mind help you overcome these challenges?
• How can your parent or parents best help and support you in 2017?
  

Best wishes to you and your family. Happy New Year!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

One person commits suicide every 13 minutes in the United States (Save.org).

This equals 117 deaths by suicide EVERY DAY (AFSP).

Honestly, these statistic speak for themselves. The numbers are why I ask every.single.client about suicide in our first session.

We know that suicide is preventable. Research tells us that asking about suicide works to reduce attempts and completions. This is why I ask.

Suicide is a scary topic. It is hard to talk about wanting to die and feeling hopeless. Asking another person if they are thinking of suicide is also intimidating. Many avoid the question altogether, simply because it is hard and scary. I agree that it is hard, but I ask anyway.

Reducing stigma around mental health problems and suicide begins with facing the issues head on. Who else is in a more natural position to do this than a social worker or therapist? This is why I ask.

Many of my clients express that they are not suicidal or have never been suicidal. I still ask because this could change one day. I ask so that everyone knows that talking about suicide is always acceptable in my office. Now or later.

Good training and support around talking about and addressing suicide helps with those feelings of fear. The Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)* has helped me feel confident and prepared to have this conversation. I am trained and I have good professional support. This is why I ask.

Are you interested in training to help you help others who might be considering suicide? Look for an ASIST* training in your community. This is a training for ANYONE who is 16 years or older.

Let’s work together to prevent suicide!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

*LifeWorks is not paying for an endorsement from me. The training is so good that I am happy to provide free advertising for ASIST.

Is it time to have that most dreaded conversation with your teen?

Are you wondering why YOU need to talk to your teen about sex?

Trust me, you are not alone!

Learn my TOP THREE TIPS for talking with your teen about sex in my my recent interview with Ariel Friese and the Counselor Chronicles.

Click on the video link below to get started!

You can find the entire article from the Counselor Chronicles here:
3 Secrets Every Parent Needs to Talk To Their Teen About Sex

Need some support as you prepare for this conversation? I'm happy to help!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Have you ever had a period of time in your life where it felt like everything was changing and nothing was the same? I’ve had a few of these times in my life: my transition from high school to college, learning to be an employee after 18 consecutive years of school and the end of a significant relationship. These times challenged me and, at times, just plain STRESSED ME OUT! Looking back, I see that those stressful, worrisome times came with a lot of personal growth. They also eventually ended. Hallelujah!
 
The last few weeks have been another “growth spurt” for me, if you will. I took the leap into full-time self-employment. This included leaving a part-time job that I loved and moving out of an office I adored. To be fair, my new office is pretty amazing (see photos here) and being 100% self-employed has long been a goal for me.

So why do I feel so frazzled?
 
Several wise people in my life have recently reminded me that change is not easy. Even when it is the result of great things. It forces you to adjust to new routines and can present unforeseen frustrations.
 
To be honest, I have not handled this change as gracefully as I hoped. A fair amount of grumbling and a few tears have led me here today. My hope is that sharing my experience will help you feel better about your change/stress/growth spurt. It also helps me be accountable to try my hardest, too. :)
 
Whether you are a parent, a teen or a college student – you will face changes and stressful times. Here are my thoughts on how to stay grounded and less grumpy as you change and grow.

1. Keep doing your thing. Eat regular meals. Move your body. Get enough sleep. These are incredibly important all the time, but perhaps even more so as your stress level increases.
2. Prioritize. This one is hard for me. I want to do everything all the time. Realistically you, (and I) need to pick your battles. And by battles I mean do the most important stuff and if the less important stuff is delayed, it is OKAY!
3. Ask for help. Also hard for me. You do not have to do this alone.
4. Leave some time for fun. This is probably the part that has been the most successful for me during this change. I’ve gone to a few baseball games, spent time with some visiting family and have some fun plans coming for Memorial Day weekend. I wouldn’t be okay if I hadn’t taken these breaks.

Where can you start today? My plan is to sit down and prioritize my to-do list. I’m also planning to do a little meditation and grounding exercise on my (awesome) office patio a little later.
 
Please, share your feedback and thoughts below!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

How do you feel? Better, I hope! Please leave a comment with your beginning and ending anxiety level!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Download the PDF version of the worksheet here:

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

So your teen has their first boyfriend or girlfriend. How exciting! Are you excited? Maybe? This can be a tricky time in parent-child relations. I’m guessing a few things are happening: Your child is smitten. You are nervous. Maybe you feel like you need some help.

Here are my top tips for what to do next.

• Spend time with your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend. Get to know this person. Hopefully, you will be able to see what your child likes so much about them. Also get to know their parents. This could come in handy in a variety of ways.

• Be clear about your expectations for the relationship. This may not make you a popular person with your child. However, even the healthiest teen relationships will benefit from some boundaries. Consider are the types of dates you will allow your child to go on, acceptable amount and timing of phone/text usage to communicate, and supervision expectations in your home and in the community. Do allow space for them to see each other. Being overly restrictive in this area can backfire.
  
  
• Talk about sex. Even if you’ve already had the “birds and the bees” talk with them, keep the conversation going. This may be the first time that some of the information your child learned in sex ed is really applicable in their world. While some of you may have deeply held beliefs that drive your ideas about sex, I respectfully suggest that you remain open to the fact that your child may make different choices for themselves. One of the fastest ways to alienate your child is to vilify their decisions around their own sexual behavior. If you need help talking about healthy sexuality and consent, start here.
  
  
• Keep the lines of communication open and express concerns respectfully and privately. If you want to know how things are going in the relationship, just ask! These conversations are best done privately and without siblings or extended family members present. This increases the likelihood of your teen talking about concerns they may have about the relationship.
  
  
• Keep your calm. If your teen tells you something that is worrisome, it is easy to feel panic and jump into action mode. Refrain from freaking out in the moment. Rather, take a few breaths, express your concern calmly and then ask your teen how you can help. Here are some other ideas if you are worried about violence in your child’s relationship.
  
  

I hope these tips help you feel more confident as your child enters an exciting time in their life. Be sure to use your own personal support system if you need a little guidance as you embark on this journey with your teen!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!