Need a new way to communicate with your teen?

One of the neatest tools I have come across in my years as a teen therapist is a journal specifically made for adolescent girls and their mothers. It is a “back and forth” style book to help young women connect in a meaningful way with their mom.

The thing is... not every teen girl has an involved mother, and not every mother has a teen daughter. Plus, boys and fathers are left out of this activity entirely!

Below you will find ten journal prompts to share with your teenage son or daughter. These are a mix of fun/silly topics and more serious, thought-provoking prompts.

First, choose a book or notebook that you will share. (You can also type documents on a computer, but give the handwritten journal a try first!) Pick a pen to keep with your journal. Agree on a safe place to leave the book for the other to read. It is important that both of you agree that what is written is private and not to be shared without the other person's permission.

Okay! Now you're all set! Click below to access TEN prompts to get you writing!

Like this? Click here for a year-long set of journal prompts for teens and their parents!

Want to begin writing in your own journal? Go here to get started: Journaling: Different Than a Diary

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

The word DIARY takes me back to my childhood. I wrote in a diary off and on for many years. Those books, pretty things adorned with cheap locks, are now gone.

Still, I remember them vividly. I wrote about the day-to-day events of my life. My childhood pet, school projects, friends and the names of my crushes all found a home in my diary. My diaries were dear to me. They were carefully protected from prying eyes.

Looking back, these books played a significant role in my daily and weekly routine as a child and as a teen. I wrote down events I did not want to forget.

These days, I still write, though not as often as I did as a younger person. The habit of writing down daily details and special events is difficult for me to prioritize in my schedule. It simply does not happen on a regular basis.

The kind of writing I do more frequently sounds similar, but it is not the same.

I journal.

How is journaling different than keeping a diary?

Simply put, a diary is a record of events. A journal is writing with the purpose of reflection and growth. Keeping a journal is more personal and requires more vulnerability than a diary.

A quick Google search will show you that journaling is not only popular, but also beneficial. It is useful as a way to help manage stress, anxiety, depression and grief. It is a tool often used in counseling to help people gain a better understanding of their struggles and their strengths.

Where do I start to help my child or teen gain the benefits of journaling?

Start with yourself. Get some paper, a notebook or a computer in front of you and start writing. Your experience with journaling can help inspire your teen to do the same.

In the meantime, here are three prompts to get you started:

1. What was the hardest part of your day? What was the best part of your day?
2. Joy can be found everywhere, even on the worst days. What brought you joy today? 
3. What are you thankful for today? List at least one person, one item and one experience.
   

Ready for more? Check out my other posts about journaling. One includes a year's worth of journaling prompts!

10 Journal Prompts for Teens and Parents
52 Journal Prompts to Help You Connect with Your Teen This Year!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is dedicated to helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Why is my Mom is Making Me Go to Therapy?

If you are reading his post, you are probably one of two types of people:

1. A parent who thinks your child could benefit from therapy OR
   
2. A teen who is being taken to counseling

My next few posts are all about helping parents and teens understand each other’s point of view about going to counseling. Today, I answer two very common questions from teens about therapy.

The answer is a little tricky.

Legally, it varies from state to state. In Colorado, teens who are 15 years and older MUST consent to their own therapy. Parents have to give their permission for teens who are under the age of 15 to be seen by a counselor. The age limit might be different in your state, but written permission for therapy is required everywhere.

So, if you are under 15, and live in Colorado, your parents can “make” you go to therapy. They can also strongly encourage older teens to go or make it a requirement in their home.

What parents cannot do, is force you to talk or make you be honest with your therapist. This is something you have to decide for yourself, regardless of your age.

Sometimes it can help to speak with someone who is objective, meaning they aren't part of your family, your school or your community.

Some of the main reasons I see teens for counseling are when they experience:

• Hard times with friends or peers
• Not liking themselves
• Worries about the future
• Being bullied
• Wanting to die
• Abuse, violence or being mistreated
• Stress
• Sadness
• Worries, nervousness or fears
• Grief after a loss of a family member, friend or pet
• Getting in trouble at school, at home or in the community
• Problems with anger or conflict
• Difficulties with school performance

This is just a short list of the things you can talk about in therapy sessions. Nothing is off limits. If you want to talk about it, go for it! Therapists are great listeners PLUS they'll offer suggestions and work with you to meet your goals.

Check back next week for a post about what you can expect when you go to therapy sessions. I'll also be posting soon about what's up with your therapist and why you just might like therapy!

Update: Check out the second and third parts of the series!
The Guide to Therapy for Teens, Part Two: What to Expect in Counseling
The Guide to Therapy for Teens, Part Three: What's the Deal with Your Therapist?

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is passionate about helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

• Pay attention. If you see something, say something. This can be tricky when you want your teen to know you are a safe person to talk to. Calm language works best when you believe you have witnessed abuse or can see injuries from abuse.
  
  

• Set healthy boundaries around the relationship. Demanding that your teen end the abusive relationship may not have the impact you expect. In fact, it may have the opposite effect and drive the relationship u. Instead, supervise your teen and their boyfriend or girlfriend when they are together in your home. Discourage activities that would allow the pair to be unsupervised in other environments. Encourage activities that include family members. Talk about healthy boundaries and be there to support your teen as they make a decision for them self.
  

As an extra, here is an excellent workbook from the Love is Not Abuse Coalition. It will help you talk about dating violence with your teens. It can also be used in conversations with younger children who are not yet dating.

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is passionate about helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Do you know if your teen is being abused? What should you be looking for?

• You may notice your daughter seems anxious or worried more than usual.

• Your son may have developed unhealthy behaviors like smoking, drinking, or exercising too much.

• Your daughter may be withdrawing from friends or family. She may also be avoiding activities she used to love.
  

• You may notice your son's girlfriend or boyfriend checks in with him frequently and wants to know where he is all of the time. This is likely disruptive of his other activities.

• You might hear your daughter make excuses for her boyfriend. She may justify his behavior and defend him.

The truth is....

• 1 in every 10 teens has experienced dating violence. Nearly as many have had unwanted sexual contact at some point in their teen years. (CDC)

• Teen dating violence happens to both boys and girls and in straight and gay relationships. It can include physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse.

Sound familiar? Worried about what to do next?

Read my post on how you can respond: Your Teen is Being Hurt: What You Can Do to Help

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is passionate about helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Every parent wants their daughter to feel good about herself. We live in a society that places increasing focus on women's bodies. It is important to be mindful about social pressures in your interactions with your daughter. Use positive language and help her feel confident! See below for 10 specific ways to help your daughter love her body!

This post originally appeared on the Wasatch Family Therapy Blog.