Sometimes, being true to yourself means doing the opposite of what others are doing. This can be really hard to do when classmates and friends are pushing your teen to do something. The teen years are full of finding oneself, while also wanting to fit in with peers. What a complicated time!

Here are some ways parents (and other adults) can help teens express their individuality!

Allow them to make choices.
Even though elementary, middle and high school students are not ready to make many big choices on their own, it is good for them to have some opportunity to choose. Clothes, leisure activities and how they spend their money are some great places to start.

Teach your teen that all actions have consequences.
Some choices have consequences your teen will not foresee. Other times, they will act despite knowing the consequences. Use these times as teaching moments to help your teen improve their decision making skills.

Do not embarrass them on purpose.
Publicly criticizing your teen’s decisions is unlikely to be helpful in the long run. If your teen has made a choice that is not acceptable, do your best to address this away from the public eye. Not only will this allow for real conversation about the issue, it will also help your teen feel as though you are on their side, even if you do not always agree.

Support them.                                               
Sometimes teens will make decisions that make little or no sense to the adults in their life. It is not your job to steer your child away from unpleasant experiences, but to be their cheerleader and help them learn. If your child decides to wear all black for months on end, find out why it appeals to him or her rather than forbidding the choice. If your awkward or uncoordinated teen is certain he wants to try out for the basketball team, encourage him to give his best effort and help him prepare. Not only will your teen feel supported in their decisions, they may just surprise you and themselves in the process!

That’s enough from me for now. See how you can help your teen express their individual greatness today! And get a good “opposite day” joke in if you can! :)

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is passionate about helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

I often hear this statement from teen clients: “video games are my hobby.” I get it. Video games are fun and popular with teens. However, they aren’t exactly a hobby... The point of having a hobby is for a person to be engaged in an activity they love that can also help them learn new skills and to create healthy relationships with peers and authority figures.

Livestrong says it best, “Hobbies provide many mental and physical health benefits, including bolstered optimism, increased creativity and a better ability to deal with stress. Sharing hobbies with others also keeps teens socially engaged with people who have similar interests. The type of hobby a teen is interested in is limited only by the imagination of the person.”

Don’t have ideas of what to try? Check out this list. Or this one.

For parents: Having a hard time getting your teen interested in developing a hobby?

• Try sitting down with a list of hobby ideas (like the ones referenced above) and ask your child to pick the three activities they are most interested in trying. Once they have narrowed down the choices, see what is available in your area and get them signed up for a class or excursion.

• If your child is shy or worried about trying something new, encourage them to invite a friend or even take a sibling along. Parents can always join in to help their teen feel more comfortable.

• Cost can be an issue with some hobbies. Talk with your teen about your ability to pay for their hobby. Be honest and ask them to help! You’d be amazed what teens are willing to do in order to fund something they love. Part-time jobs, mowing lawns, scooping snow and extra chores are all good ideas to consider.

Remember, this can be a process! Encourage your child to try something a few times before deciding they “hate it.” If one activity is not a good fit, try another! Over time, your child will find something they like, or maybe even love!

PS: I chose the picture of a teen piano player because this was one of my hobbies as a teen!

Bethany Raab is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.
She is passionate about helping teens and families be happy and healthy!

Every parent wants their daughter to feel good about herself. We live in a society that places increasing focus on women's bodies. It is important to be mindful about social pressures in your interactions with your daughter. Use positive language and help her feel confident! See below for 10 specific ways to help your daughter love her body!

This post originally appeared on the Wasatch Family Therapy Blog.